Lately, I have been faced with many ministry challenges. Once again I find myself at a crossroads where I have to make a decision about the future of serving the Lord in a pastoral role as I continue to run into endless roadblocks in my efforts to fully use my gifts. The Lord has allowed me to process such issues through meditations on art work in which I can express my thoughts through my journaling. I confess that initially I did not want to journal in the midst of my pain but by the end of my writing I sensed a grace given relief. Today I share with you a meditation on Pieter Bruegel's "The Elders Wedding Dance." The picture is somewhat on the small side so some of the details I describe are hard to detect. I recommend googling the picture to get a closer look.
"I feel joy. I am drawn to the joy taking place in the picture. It is a celebration! A celebration of life , of relationship, a celebration of union between two people and to me a union with God. The colors are bright and festive. The couple kissing may be the bride and groom, delighted that their friends and family are sharing in their joy. There seems to be no real distinction between who may be wealthy or poor. I notice two men standing with their hands behind their back. The man in black looks somewhat sad. The man in orange seems to put on a slight smile. Yet they both seem disconnected from the circle. I wonder what they may be thinking. Do they feel they don't deserve to be a part of the festivities? Are they waiting for someone to recognize them and invite them to participate? There appear to be other instances where folks around the nearby trees are being invited to participate somehow. I identify with those standing outside the circle. Somehow not feeling like I fit in. A part of the community but not really being recognized. Waiting, hoping, longing for the invitation that doesn't seem to come. Participating from the outside. Jesus, You are the Lord of the dance. You want everyone to come to the celebration just as they are, bringing only themselves. I notice the musician and ironically by his side is a weapon. It is interesting that amidst this celebration there is the potential for danger. It reminds me that the enemy is ever lurking near, especially when you are being celebrated. The need to always be ready, to put on "the full armor of God" as Paul states. The reality that there is joy mixed with sorrow in this world. There are so many different people doing so many different things. The surrounding landscape is green and full of life. The picture itself is bathed in light. It is symbolic of Your church where men and women come together without distinction, without being less than but united in Christ. But sadly there are those who remain on the outside because the church has not invited them in. That's where I remain Lord, on the outside because the church has not invited me in. There appears to be another musician in blue with eyes closed. Is he lost in the joy of the moment? Thankful that his gifts are contributing to the joy of this occasion? I know the gifts You have given me have contributed to the joy of many occasions. Even in the midst of sad occasions people have been joyful over Your word spoken. As I look again, perhaps the bridegroom and his bride are the couple in the middle of that circle of dance. Whether they are the kissing couple or the couple in the middle, there is love demonstrated on top of the joy. Are those not the first two fruit of the Spirit? (love & joy) I see You, Jesus, in the face of that couple in the middle. With tenderness, You hold the hand of Your bride, the church, joyful to be united with her. I feel Your Spirit bidding me to see myself as that bride whose hand the Savior delights in holding. Communicating that I belong in that circle of love and joy with Him, despite the other's efforts to exclude me. The bride almost seems to have a look of wonder and amazement on her face. Me, Lord? You see something in me? You see beauty? You see gift? You delight in being with me? In the midst of the joyful celebrants there is a moment of intimacy between the bridegroom and his bride. It is as if the bridegroom says, "I am surrounding you with joy because my heart for you is full of love." I am special to Him and He wants me to know it. Where Oh Lord will I find the community that invites me into the dance? Where Oh Lord is the place where the gifts we share are celebrated? Where can we be united and not divided? Yes, this painting reminds me of what the church can be, a foretaste of heaven albeit an imperfect one. Yet this is the foretaste I am drawn to, the one I delight in, the one I desire to experience. "You (Lord of the dance) prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." (Psalm 23:5-6) Amen. (italics mine)
Pastor Sheree
The month of September has been very difficult spiritually and emotionally. My mother has spent the entire month in and out of the hospital. Even as I write this blog, she remains hospitalized and very ill. Many friends and family members have been in prayer for her recovery. However, I have to admit that my faith has been slipping and my hope fading. At the same time during this month, there has been a rabbit that has been visiting just outside my kitchen window. He has been sitting by the steps, at times resting and at other times eating clover. There were a couple of instances where he appeared to be looking right at me and responding by jumping closer when I spoke to him. I asked the rabbit a few times, "What is it that the Father is trying to tell me? I know from past experiences that God will often speak to me through nature. I assumed this was another instance of God communicating through His creation. Over time this rabbit kept showing up every morning and also in the evening just before sunset. I grew increasingly impatient trying to figure out what was going on. Then, as I was reading through one of my devotional books, "Our Daily Bread" the meditation focused on the language of whistling. The author quoted from Zechariah 10:8, "I will whistle for them and gather them, for I will redeem them." The author went on to talk about meeting a goat herder whose flock recognized his whistle for them. Likewise, God's people are often referred to as sheep with God as their shepherd. (John 10:27; Psalm 100:3) The author of the meditation goes on to say, "God has ways of signaling us, even without words. By events that can be alarming or encouraging. He reminds us of His guiding, protecting, and reassuring presence." After reading this meditation I began to realize that I have been experiencing exactly what the author spoke about regarding hearing God. My mother's illness has been the "alarming" event and the rabbit has been the encouraging event. God was "signaling" me through this rabbit's appearance each morning and evening. Even the rabbit's attentiveness to me and seeming to look at me, drawing close, was God speaking. Instead of trying to figure out some high and lofty reason why this rabbit appeared, God was in essence showing me His guiding, protecting, reassuring and abiding Presence through tragedy and triumph. Many people focus on the bunny as the symbol of the Easter season. However this "holy" hare reminded me of Easter and the resurrection. Hope in the midst of despair and sorrow. As of this writing, I have not seen my rabbit friend for a while. Perhaps God has made His point to continue to trust even in the midst of the unseen. For He has promised, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) Even when that promise comes in the form of a faithful rabbit.
Peace & Blessings,
Pastor Sheree
There's an old hymn entitled "Trust and Obey." The chorus tells us, Trust and obey, for there's no other way. To be happy in Jesus, But to trust and obey." I have to admit I have sung this hymn many times with all the enthusiasm I could muster. I sincerely believed what the lyrics and chorus were saying but somehow that did not translate into real life. There have been situations where I haven't trusted nor obeyed, not out of outright rebellion but out of fear. Somehow I didn't believe God was going to do the "right" thing. Recently my mother had a bad fall and ended up fracturing some ribs. The result was a 4 day hospital stay and then discharge to a rehabilitation facility. Before her discharge from the hospital it was necessary to find an open bed in a local rehab facility. Five years ago she had stayed in a rehab after another fall that I really liked and wanted her to return to that same place. However, they had no beds available. The only available bed was at a facility that five years ago I had heard was not a great place. I told the hospital social worker that I was concerned about this particular facility and to keep looking. I went on line to check the ratings of some other rehab centers and found a couple of others that were rated "above average." The facility with the open bed was only rated "average." Of course I wanted my mother in an "above average" facility but it seemed like all the beds were full at other places. I became frustrated with God and asked Him why He wasn't helping me. Wasn't He supposed to be my loving Father who was there in time of need? I was determined that I would hold out until my mother was able to be placed in a facility of my liking. However, I did not have the luxury of time as after 4 days no other beds had opened and my mother was medically cleared for discharge from the hospital. The hospital social worker informed me that if my mother stayed in the hospital beyond the date that she was medically cleared, the insurance company would bill her for the expense. I made a few phone calls to some colleagues who put me in touch with others who knew the ins and outs of the rehabs where I was looking to have my mother placed. To my surprise I began to hear good things about this so-called "average" rated facility. I decided I had no choice but to take a look at the place. When I walked in I was very shocked to see it was beautifully decorated. The Director of Customer Relations greeted me warmly and I shared my concerns with her. She listened and reassured me that they would take the best care of my mother. She then proceeded to give me a tour. The staff were very friendly and the patients looked happy. After I left, I called the hospital social worker and agreed to allow my mother to be discharged to this facility. As promised the staff took good care of her and my mother was happy with her treatment. Once again, I had to learn the lesson that God knew what was best. As hard as I tried God would not allow my mother to be placed any where else. It was amazing that even after my mother's 4 day hospital stay, this particular rehab facility still had an open bed! I am often telling my clients that if God wants something to happen in a particular way or at a particular time, He will block all our efforts to do otherwise. This is not because God is mean or wants us to "suffer" but because of His great love for us. I have been through similar experiences in the past where God has protected me from myself! Scripture is full of promises that call us to trust in God. A popular quoted verse is Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Even in the Lord's prayer we are called to trust God, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." God's will not mine. Trust requires vulnerability and that can be a scary thing, but we serve a Lord who does not change. (Hebrews 13:8) Moreover, Paul reminds us in Romans that we have a God who uses all circumstances for good no matter how uncertain a situation may seem. (Romans 8:28) By the way, prior to my mother's discharge, God was still teaching me a valuable lesson on trust as an acquaintance of mine told me that the facility where my mother stayed was known as the top rehab facility in the area and many of the patients desire to go there. I will think a little differently now when I hear the words to that familiar hymn "Trust and Obey." For there truly is no other way to be happy in Jesus.
Peace & Blessings,
Pastor Sheree
